Prioritizing Emotions

Evan, my Aspie was so excited because I got some Signing Time videos for the boys and they came in the mail today. He immediately grabbed the ABC's volume and ran to watch it. The TV upstairs is in a bedroom that we use as a den. Right outside the door are... (TRUMPET FANFARE) the stairs. I HATE THIS! It has been a constant worry that the kids or myself will fall down the stairs sleep walking (yeah, my kids have night terrors) or rough housing, not paying attention, etc. Today was the day. Evan was running in and out of that room watching the video and then finding me to show me the sign he just learned. My 18 month old, Robby, had terrible timing and was between the door and the stairs as Evan ran out. Nothing but the grace of God saved Robby from being seriously hurt. He stopped himself on the third stair down and has no severe injuries. He cried for a little while, then he was fine.

Here's my issue. Just as I was running to save Robby (I heard them vocalize as they ran into each other and assumed the worst, so I ran out to save Robby from falling down the stairs), Evan came joyously bounding out to show me another sign. I didn't raise my voice. I just said, "Evan, Robby is hurt. You knocked him down the stairs." Evan replied, "This is how you make a 'Z' mom!" He was jumping and so excited. Recently, Evan has made real strides in noticing when he has hurt someone and saying, "I'm sorry." But today, no matter what I said, and even after I raised my voice so he could hear me over his jubilant, repetitive talking, he seemed like he just couldn't make feeling sorry a priority over his excitement. And I could tell he was really thinking about it! Even after a lot of progress in one area, he can't regulate his emotions and "prioritize" which emotion is more important at that time. I would say he has now "learned" what social cues tell you that you have hurt someone. I would say that he has "learned" that the appropriate response is, "I'm sorry." He has even gotten really good at jazzing that part up! Today, it just wouldn't come. He was far too excited about the new videos. How do you teach someone to prioritize what they feel? It seems so internal, so instinctual. Of course, I never thought he'd make a friend on his own or learn to recognize when he hurt someone, and he has done those things. It is just a struggle I hadn't thought about...